You have finally decided on the location, the style of the wedding, and perhaps even the banquet menu, but the main thing remains to understand: how will the shortest and most emotional part of the event go: the ceremony, during which you will exchange the most important words in your life.
In this article, I will talk about the main rituals that you can include before or after the exchange of vows, and sometimes instead. Of course, we are talking about a symbolic ceremony, the main difference of which from the official marriage is the absolute freedom of what you want to do and how you want to express your feelings. The marriage ceremony at the city hall has strict regulations, the text of the ceremony resembles a legal contract, and only a few Italian city halls will allow you to include all sorts of romantic elements to diversify the process.
So what type of symbolic ceremony to choose, and how to express your feelings so that something tangible remains as a memory, which can later be passed on to children as a talisman of a happy instant?
There are a huge number of symbolic rituals, for now I will give examples of the main ones that have gained maximum distribution throughout the world.
Unity sand ceremony
a ritual of mixing of sands of different colors and structures
The ritual is based on the principle of unity of a couple in the process of beautiful mixing of sand of two colours in one vessel. The vessel itself (of any shape, according to the taste of the newlyweds) is then being preserved as a family heirloom and a talisman (it can also be used as an interior item). It symbolizes the inseparability of the couple, just as it is no longer possible to separate the layers of sand in the vessel.
The master of ceremonies makes a beautiful speech (the text can be personalized for the couple), explaining the sacred importance of this ritual, sometimes he himself first pours out the first layer as the foundation of relations, or one of the guests or friends can be involved in this. Then the newlyweds simultaneously or alternately pour their sand into a common vessel, creating bizarre and unique patterns.
You will need:
- 3 glass transparent vessels (or the 4th if the host is involved),
- two-coloured sand. Alternatively, you can use sand from Etna and from Sicilian seaside (provided for free for my clients)
- a funnel
- a decorative table
Hint!
find original sand containers, such as photo frames, or particular bottles (Etsy site has many). Do not forget the cork, for transporting the main vessel back to home.
Unity candles ceremony
The only ritual allowed during the church wedding
This ritual symbolizes the couple’s unity as they light one large candle using two smaller candles, held by the newlyweds. Often accompanied by a heartfelt speech, these candles are then kept as cherished keepsakes. They can be relit during difficult times in the relationship or simply to celebrate an anniversary. This is the only symbolic ritual permitted by both the Catholic and Orthodox churches during a religious wedding ceremony.
You will need:
- A table, but not necessarily, you can do without it
- Candle decorations or personalization, if need it
- 1 large main candle, two smaller candles, needed to lit on the main candle
- holders for 3 candles (optional)
Hint! During the windy weather ask some of the guests to cover the candles with hands for its protection.
Handfasting ceremony
an ancient Celtic ritual
In ancient times, it was customary to perform a ritual of interlacing or unification of hands. This was a symbol of the unity of two entities, two destinies and two souls. Ancient people believed that if you join hands and tie them with special ribbons, the marriage will be strong and last a long time. The colour of the ribbons was selected in accordance with the sacred meaning of each colour. It is popular to use multi-colored ribbons, but you are free to choose exactly what you like.
Hint!: Choose ribbons or make your own from family heirlooms. Use materials that once brought joy and love to their previous owners. Ribbons create a stunning effect when photographed outdoors, especially in windy conditions, as they dance in the breeze. I can provide you with a quality natural handmade silk ribbons, produced locally.
Ceremony of Roses
one of the simplest ceremonies
The ritual beautifully captures the essence of a couple’s unity, symbolized by the exchange of red roses. This vibrant hue carries a dual meaning, representing not only the deep and passionate love shared between partners but also serving as a powerful ward against negative influences, specifically the evil eye, offering a layer of spiritual protection. The Italian iteration of this ritual is especially renowned for its elegance and emotional depth. At its heart, the newlyweds exchange two identical roses, a gesture that, at first glance, might appear to be a simple act with little consequence. However, beneath this surface lies a profound and sacred significance, deeply woven into the fabric of their union.
Following the ceremony, these symbolic roses are to be carefully preserved in a special, secluded spot within the couple’s home, a private sanctuary where their shared memories and commitment reside. This cherished memento is not meant to be static; it is to be lovingly renewed each year, specifically on the anniversary of their wedding. When the couple inevitably faces moments of adversity or challenging periods in their journey together, the simple, yet potent, gift of a red rose acts as a tangible and heartfelt reminder.
A minimum amount of materials is required: 2 red (or any other colour, as long as they are the same) roses, a table and a vase with water if desired.
Hint! ask the florist to remove the thorns from the roses to make them more comfortable to hold in your hands
Unity wine ceremony
for sophisticated gourmet
This ritual is an homage, a sacred undertaking for the true connoisseurs of Italian winemaking, those who seek the deepest truths within a glass. The very ground beneath our feet, the Sicilian countryside where this ceremony unfolds, is a realm of profound enchantment and a cradle for exceptionally rare autochthonous grape varieties. Sicily is more than an island; it is a living testament to the ancient dance between vine and soil, a place where grapes have been nurtured and perfected over countless generations, remaining distinctly their own. Our focus is drawn to the dramatic, almost mythical vineyards that ascend the slopes of Mount Etna, a volcanic giant whose mineral essence is infused into every berry. Here, grapes like Nerello Cappuccio and Carricante absorb the fiery spirit of the mountain, yielding wines of astonishing complexity and longevity. Furthermore, the province of Syracuse, kissed by the Mediterranean sun and blessed with ancient traditions, acts as another vital bastion for these indigenous varietals. It is here that wines of pure character, unadulterated by time or external influence, are born – a true expression of Sicily’s untamed spirit.
The ritual can be performed in two ways:
1. the first simple way: choose a bottle of good wine and exchange glasses during the ceremony or mix two types of suitable wine in a decanter or directly in a glass, but here you may need the help of an experienced sommelier who may help in wine selection (in general, in Italy it is not common to mix different types of wine, but we can try).
2. The second method is complicated but very romantic. A suitable bottle of wine is selected, one that can be stored for many years or a specific time. The newlyweds write warm confessions/messages to each other on pieces of paper and seal them without reading them. A wooden box and decor for it are selected; during the ritual, the couple seals the wine and messages in the box, hammering it with hobnails and a special hammer. They agree to open the box, and the wine and read the secret messages on the desired date, which should refresh the relationship and remind the couple of the moment of their union birth.
Hint! Choose the type of wine carefully, taking into account the period for which it should be stored. We can suggest sommelier who can help you with your choice.